nest:
nest:
Your homework for tonight is to become SO good at counting.
Do not let me down, please.
1
2
W
*biting back tears* you always fuck everything up for me I am so fucking patient with you at first it was because I thought you were just a stupid god damn moron but I can tell you get a sadistic plesure for trying to put a stop to my personal progress well not anymore
8
Things feel a little less meaningless now. Maybe haphazardly biting of more than I could chew is doing me some good. Project head for a simple free tutorial program. Getting into the nerdy sport of debating. Trying make a great thesis. Aiming to graduate with a 3.2++ GPA. I know these things hardly matter at all, deep in my heart. Nonetheless, they make me feel like I can successfully construct a purpose for my life.
In addition to this, on the more shallow side of self-improvement (if that’s what you can call what I’m doing), I’m trying to invest in good skincare. Bought some COSRX products (face wash and AHA toner) and a VMV soap (with BHA). Hopefully I can clear up my catastrophic skin.
7
Why is it that the thought of you still comes with a bitter sting? I think it’s ‘cause there’s a part of me that still hopes that in my parting I have afflicted enough pain to leave a lasting impression that echoes throughout your life. It’s hard not to regard the past with bitterness, since so much of it was eclipsed by you. I cannot easily disregard you, because your touch is mirrored in my cynicism and insecurities. It is inevitable to be pricked every now and then by a word, thought, or song of some sort that can be associated with you, and when I am brought back to the thought of you, I’m flooded with contempt and regret (no longer in the form of burning but that of a muted, persistent ache). I wonder if you feel the same. I wonder if anything I’ve ever done or been has made my absence a scarring memory. I feel as though I leave everyone who hurt me unscathed.
